Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) Page 5

  “We don’t know…exactly.”

  Guess then.

  Without any pause like before, Rowan said, “any of your suggestions are possible. But Faction wouldn’t risk open war by killing an unblooded Scion before the end of the first year. Kidnapping is likely, to keep a Scion they don’t accept from the Blooding ceremony which takes place at the end of the first year.”

  “Is the first year significant?”

  It took him so long to respond I was picturing impatient fingers drumming once more. As we turned onto Clayton Road, I gave it another shot.

  Why is the first year significant?

  Almost immediately, Rowan said, “A Royal has the first year to get his or her affairs in order before the Royalship is finalized. Iliana has avoided mutiny among demonkind by saying her first year is not up, and she was planning to present you before that time was through.”

  Was it a lie?

  His head tilted slightly. “Likely, but I can only speculate. Someone told the Underrealm about you and Iliana never mentioned the existence of a possible Scion. A female Royal with offspring before being Royal…simply doesn’t happen. She won the ‘realm over, destroyed Nikolai and unseated Noah before any news of you came out. Would she have jeopardized her good standing? Was she interested in sharing her reign?”

  His eyes flickered over to me for the first time since I got into the limo, and it was so quick, I nearly missed it.

  “There’s little way for us to know her true intentions. But for now, she is playing the protective mother card, which the ‘realm appears to be…tolerating. That you’re a half-caste seems to be Faction’s issue.”

  “But she moved HQ here when she took up office, right? Why do that if she…” the muscles of Rowans jaw flexed, and I could tell he was grinding his teeth together.

  Why do you prefer me telepathing with you rather than talking?

  “It proves...I,” he cleared his throat softly, “didn’t fully believe you were…a half-caste even could…”

  A slight hint of smoke wisped inside my mind for reasons I couldn’t know, and Rowan tensed up even more, clutched the steering wheel until it creaked, and grew jittery.

  When the hint of smoke evaporated, I asked, “Is it the half-caste thing or the ugly thing or the living as human thing? ‘Cause you pretty much look like you want to toss me out of the car. While it’s moving. Into a lake. With cement shoes. And—”

  “My feelings,” he jeered, “are entirely irrelevant.”

  I felt something from him, a whisper of…something. Something he held back. Something he was skilled at hiding. Something.

  But we were pulling up to The Bookstore. First, I noticed Holly’s car was gone. And the store lights were on. That meant Dad was there. I hoped Benn was too. I hoped they were fine and my worry had been for nothing. I hoped I awoke tomorrow and all of this had already blown over.

  I didn’t pry with Rowan. He couldn’t stand me, for whatever reason. Nothing I wasn’t used to.

  As soon as he stopped the car in front of the store, I climbed out and shut the door behind me. The hostile environment in the cramped cab of the long limo was starting to make my palms sweat.

  He seemed more shocked and less relieved at my swift departure than expected when I knocked on the window. He rolled it down immediately.

  “Is it safe to expect a demon sentry tailing me?”

  A completely startling smirk played on his lips, then was gone before my jaw could completely drop. “One or more of us will be guarding you at all times for…awhile.”

  I shook off the brief shock and asked, Dad and Benn too?

  Rowan grimaced, but nodded tersely once and drove away even before rolling up the passenger’s side window.

  What a strange male. If I were normal, I’d take offense at his blatant hatred of me. He couldn’t drive away fast enough. But he had driven me home, like he’d said. And he did answer some of my questions, unlike Grayson who hardly told me anything. I’d take what I could get.

  CHAPTER 6

  Dad rushed at me before I got The Bookstore door closed. His forest green eyes looked strained, his light brown skin courtesy of his Italian heritage had a tinge of red. Usually full lips were pursed, turning them white. I read these things in an instant, very familiar with their meaning.

  “Jesus,” Dad huffed with angry relief, stopping several steps away from me. “When Bennett told me what happened, I—”

  “I’m sorry, Dad. It was all,” I had the lie ready, on the tip of my tongue. It was all a misunderstanding. But I couldn’t say it. Instead I opted for, “What do you know?”

  “You two were kidnapped by three demons, that’s what I know. Bennett said it was Grayson? The Royal’s advisor? Savvy, what kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into?”

  I wanted to defend myself. I didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, I should be blaming him for taking part in creating me. But the place inside me that should have been roaring with pride and hurt remained dormant. The smoke-and-fire seemed to be resting. It usually did around Dad and Benn.

  “First we were kidnapped by two Division humans,” I explained. “Some blonde woman cracked Benn over the head and put us in a van. Grayson and two others saved us from them.”

  Practically inaudible through clenched teeth, Dad asked, “What would Division want with you?”

  I knew what he was asking. The only reason Division would be sniffing around me—since Dad didn’t know Iliana was the real reason—would be because I’d openly violated the Human-Demon Treaty in some way and was being investigated. And since no one but Dad knew I was a half-caste, it suggested I’d been blabbing it around.

  “Maybe we should talk about it later,” I said, thinking about Benn, who I knew was in the room but hadn’t said a word yet.

  “We will talk about this now, Savannah,” he barked.

  I had no delusions about my dad. I cared for him. He was the best father anyone could have hoped for an admittedly difficult half-caste like me. But he certainly wasn’t without his flaws. And our relationship was…different.

  I began to share ownership and run his bookstore when I turned sixteen instead of either of my other two options; staying in high school, or moving to the Underrealm. High schools had an option to graduate on a student’s sixteenth birthday. Anyone could take advantage of it, and a lot of students did. But early graduation was for half-castes if they decided to go to the Underrealm. In case they ever decided to return Up Above, they had their high school diploma. Even though everyone knew no half-caste came back from the Underrealm.

  Dad didn’t give me the choice to stay in school. He never even asked. I went to school on my birthday, and found out I never had to go back at the end of the day. He expected me to choose the Underrealm, though he never said that to me. When I didn’t, I got the silent treatment for a week.

  He renovated the apartment on the second floor of the store for me, and I was living on my own ten days after my sixteenth birthday. We saw each other once a week after that to discuss the store.

  When I was growing up, he never brought friends or women home. Not because I had a problem with it, but because he was afraid I would scare them off. In the heat of him yelling at me about something stupid like groceries, he told me that. Victor Cole was ashamed of his only daughter.

  I never held it against him. I couldn’t exactly blame him.

  A practically deformed half-caste demon without discernible emotions of any kind and a blatant lack of social skills? Yes, I knew I was hard to love.

  None of it mattered anyway. He was always there when I needed him. Dad kept me grounded, to a home, to a life. Our relationship wasn’t perfect. It was far from ideal. But Victor Cole always picked up the phone when I called.

  For that, he deserved the truth.

  “It’s about Iliana,” I said after a long silence. That made him stop working his jaw.

  Only now that Dad was silent did I realize Benn hadn’t moved an inch since I walked in. He
leaned against the couch with his arms folded over his chest, his mouth set in a thin line. Anger shot from his usually kind, blue eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Benn.”

  He scoffed. “I know what you are now. Whatever Grayson did to me, whatever thoughts he put in my head, now I know. And I was worried sick for you. I woke up at that bus stop and flipped the hell out, ran back here, told Victor everything I could. But I couldn’t let him call the cops. ‘Cause of something they did to me. I couldn’t do anything.”

  “And then you pull up in a limo, perfectly fine, chatting it up with some dude like nothing happened?”

  Would you have preferred me return in a body bag? I thought, but said instead, “Things are complicated.”

  Benn looked spooked for a moment, then shook his head sharply. “Unless you think I’m too thick to understand, feel free to enlighten me.”

  “You already know.”

  “I want to hear it from you. My best friend. The girl I’ve known for half my life.”

  I sighed, feeling tired and knowing I should be feeling a lot more, but didn’t. “I’m a half-caste Razer demon.”

  Benn narrowed his eyes. “You look nothing like—”

  “It’s glamour. I have no control over it, but it’s still a glamour.”

  “You’re telling me I don’t even know what you look like? Is Savannah even your real name? What else have you been keeping secret?”

  I’m not any different just because you found out something you didn’t know about me.

  “I didn’t know how to tell you,” I said, even as Benn made the same, spooked face as before. Was I telepathing to him? Humans weren’t supposed to be able to receive telepaths.

  But, then again, what did I know? Only what the Demonology books told me. And that could be filled with lies for all I knew. I wasn’t supposed to be able to telepath either.

  He didn’t say anything about it though, so I figured I misread him.

  “You know what?” Benn said, punching his arms into his coat sleeves and zipping up roughly. “I’m outta here.”

  He stormed out. With eyes that wouldn’t meet mine and his mouth set in a stubborn, angry frown. I didn’t know if he’d be safe, but I couldn’t do anything to stop him either.

  Maybe Rowan would actually look out for him like I asked. Maybe I should have gone after him.

  “Let him go,” Dad ordered, locking the door again, deciding things for me. “Tell me about your mother.”

  Mechanically, I told him everything I’d learned. Division and Faction and Grayson and the two Hammers. Iliana’s new leadership and the possible, but unconfirmed threat on my life. I glossed over the threat on Dad and Benn’s lives. No need to worry him if there wasn’t any real danger.

  Vaguely, I saw the information hit him, affect him, but my mind was elsewhere.

  I never felt more alone than I did staring out the front door window. Luckily, there were no tears. There was no anger. That would require emotions I never fully developed.

  Did I ever stand a chance in this world? Did any half-caste? Maybe living Up Above was worse than the Underrealm. How would anyone know? Half-castes who chose the ‘realm never returned. Maybe it was because they finally found where they belonged after being outcast their whole lives.

  But I would never know. I made my choice years ago. I chose Dad. I chose Benn. I chose my bookstore and my limited, borderline reclusive existence. And I would be dedicated to it. It was all I knew.

  But…if Benn never came back…

  “This is a lot to process,” Dad groaned, and I wanted to pat his arm, comfort him in the human way. With touch, and words. But I didn’t know how.

  CHAPTER 7

  Curse the day we put in two desktop computers for public use in The Bookstore. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It had even been mine. I had no idea they would be such a source of annoyance.

  Laying his hands over one of mine on the keyboard, I only resisted the urge to yank away for half a second. The bearded man I was assisting grabbed the computer mouse from under my grasp next, touching my other hand, making me wrench away immediately.

  He rasped, “Wait, wait. You’re going too fast.”

  Which in turn—and for the fourth time since they set up shop at the computers—made his surly wife screech, “stop being an idiot, Howard.”

  “She’s going to mess up what I’ve done.”

  “Why would she do that?” another screech.

  Howard sputtered, his eyes down sheepishly. “I-it took so long to…I-I don’t have time to…”

  Ignoring their words, I formatted the man’s document as he’d asked when he finally removed his hands, all the while imagining thrusting out my arms in opposite directions and elbowing them both in the mouth. As I worked, the man made strained noises, but thankfully made no more moves to stop me.

  My demon instinct whispered I could strangle them with the computer wires and no one would be the wiser.

  “Is that how you want it to look?” I asked, customer service smile doing its job perfectly.

  Minutes ticked by, or at least what felt like minutes to me, standing between a bickering married couple openly snapping at each other and scrutinizing the simple things I did as if I weren’t standing there listening.

  When smoke-and-fire got stronger in my mind, I said, hoping I could make a getaway, “Let me know if there’s anything more—”

  “No. Wait. We have…” she trailed off, squinting from behind thick glasses that badly distorted her eyes, as if squinting was going to make her understand technology that had clearly passed her by a decade ago.

  “If you have something specific you need help with, I’ll be glad to assist you.” I took a step back. “Otherwise, I need to get back to work.”

  Tomorrow, I was hanging a sign that said the staff was not here to help with the computers. Or maybe I’d just listen to the suggestions in my head and take a baseball bat to the monitors. That would take care of that problem.

  When she said nothing, I left, certain I’d be standing between them again before long.

  Once my demon half’s aggravation with the humans fizzled and my discomfort over the bearded man’s touch faded, my thoughts were on Benn again, like they’d been all day. I kept wondering what I could do to make things okay again. I’d been awful. He’d been a true friend and I rewarded it with lies. Maybe I didn’t deserve a friend. Maybe I didn’t deserve someone like Benn in my life.

  “We must teach you not to project your emotions, girl,” Rowan grumbled as I walked by him. I didn’t bother acknowledging his comment. There had been one too many condescending remarks like that from him today.

  Grayson and his brunette Hammer, Cyrus—who bowed when we were introduced, which was too weird—shared a couch and appeared to be discussing stratagem or whatever it was demons on sentry duty discussed with each other.

  Rowan stood by the front door, even though each time it opened, he visibly shivered. Demons hated the cold, but apparently weren’t willing to do anything about it. I was so tempted to force him into a coat, but a funny voice in my head told me not to. He wore another sweater like yesterday, soft cashmere the color of sage. The green looked fantastic with his light hair, eyes, and tanned skin. The way the supple material clung to his—

  More than a few times, I had to snap myself out of those kinds of thoughts.

  I didn’t know why I couldn’t control them at first, but I suspected it was a Tempter’s presence that was screwing with me. Even without trying, having Grayson around was starting to saturate the store with a scent like candy and spices, and something I wasn’t experienced enough to define. It seemed to be affecting all the females who entered the place.

  When I looked at Grayson, he looked good too. He wore his average glamour, but every now and then, a flash of crystal blue diamonds would draw my gaze.

  Did it explain why, even when I felt Grayson’s Incubus stare, could smell that intoxicatingly luring scent in the air, my attention kept re
turning to Rowan’s entirely unfriendly sneer? I couldn’t figure it out, and I didn’t want to think about it more than I had to.

  Things were unusual right now, and I could still have that concussion. I clung to the hope.

  My sentries disappeared one by one to feed themselves throughout the day. I was curious where they were going and what it was they were eating. Most foods didn’t taste like much to me. I had to add strong flavors to everything I ate. I wondered if demon food would have more taste. Except I wasn’t feeling friendly with any of them. I also wanted to ask why all three of them were here when I’d asked them to make sure Dad and Benn were safe too. But I didn’t mention it. That they hadn’t taken my request seriously didn’t surprise me in the least.

  My Dad was at the university, surrounded by students, faculty, and assistants. Benn was there too, equally surrounded by people. I was reasonably sure they would be okay out in the open like that. Besides, Dad said he’d stop by after his class was over, even though tonight wasn’t one of his scheduled visiting days.

  Though he‘d never say it, Dad was worried for me.

  But when Benn walked through the door, making Rowan shiver and Grayson and Cyrus turn, probably because of whatever my emotions projected to them, I exhaled like I’d been holding my breath all day.

  There was a moment he did a double-take toward the demon standing by the door. Whatever it was, if it was even anything, Benn shook it off and walked up to the counter.

  He stared at me for a minute, his blue eyes bloodshot, but otherwise as kind as always, and I opened my mouth to say something but didn’t know what. I was just so glad to see him, I didn’t care if Rowan and the others could feel it loud and clear.

  “No more lies,” the severity of his words striking my central nervous system like a bolt of lightning.