Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) Page 17

  “Cool,” the young male said, swiping a doughnut from the table and stuffing the entire thing into his mouth before saying, “So? Eat, shop, or spar?”

  My eyebrows drew in because I was sure I heard wrong. “Shop?”

  He swallowed the doughnut. “We have a stash of clothes that might…ya know…work better than the male’s sweater you’re wearing.”

  Blushing, and missing the days when my every emotion wasn’t written all over my face, I pushed out the thought of being in Rowan’s arms before muttering, “Anything else is too uncomfortable.”

  “That’s been taken into consideration,” Sam said, his chipperness contagious.

  “Did you say spar?”

  “Razer,” he pointed at my head. “You need an outlet for your…uh…pent-up…whatever. You need a fight.”

  Was this something I should have known? Before Hadrian lifted my glamour, I never fought. I went to Dmitri’s class, got used as a punching bag, but I never really fought. All the fighting I did was against the smoke-and-fire place inside me. Did that count?

  At my silence, Sam asked, “You mean your guards haven’t trained with you?”

  “Not that kind of training.”

  Boy, I would have liked sparring with them. Especially with…

  Shaking my head, not wanting to think about Rowan, I went to the table, grabbed a cheese Danish, and took a big bite before saying with my mouth full, “Clothes, then spar.”

  CHAPTER 24

  I’d given up hope on ever wearing pants again. Or bras. But as I got the grand Division tour with a constantly cheerful, bounding Sam eagerly narrating, I took stock of my haul.

  There were jean-like pants on my legs, not quite as soft as Rowan’s sweaters, but pretty close. It was nice not wearing a skirt, having a draft and worrying about flashing people all the time.

  The long-sleeved black t-shirt fit like a glove, and was so comfortable I had to look down a few times to make sure I remembered to put a shirt back on at all. The bra was a little too close to my skin for comfort, but it was something I could get used to when I had been certain nothing existed that would work.

  Leather-like boots, underwear that didn’t feel like sandpaper, and my long hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. I never felt so comfortable in my life.

  Sam led me down a flight of stairs on the other side of the house. The place was much bigger than it looked from the outside, probably deliberately. My underground theory wasn’t so far off after all, except there still weren’t any locked doors. Still no labs, still no monstrous cries of demons being tortured.

  When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I surveyed the huge gym, but the female who was balancing upside down, using one hand on some sort of training apparatus drew my attention almost immediately. She was so still, it took me a moment to realize she was even real.

  With a snort, Sam announced, “Savannah Cole, meet Mina Kay.”

  The female dropped from the apparatus, pushing off with the one hand and landing gracefully on her feet, as if it was no big deal.

  The agile female was a half-caste Razer, just like me. I knew it immediately. Her skin was flawless olive. Her hair was bone straight and pure black with an incredible, almost impossible sheen of copper. With delicate curves, she was petite and slender, yet there was no question she was powerful.

  She was probably in her early thirties, though it was hard to tell since she showed no signs of age. But there was no question, unlike Sam, Mina was over the age of choosing Up Above or the Underrealm.

  When Mina Kay was sixteen, she chose to stay Up Above.

  Her human parent must have been Asian, Korean maybe, with exceedingly dominant genes. Our only shared Razer trait was her almond shaped eyes had the same sunburst of copper as mine, only rimmed with dark brown. All half-caste Razer females must have the copper sunburst. I hadn’t known.

  I felt an instant kindred with her, but it didn’t seem like it was reciprocated. Mina had probably met plenty of half-caste Razers like us. I hadn’t.

  “Savannah,” she nodded at me.

  I did the same, making sure to hide how much it meant for me to meet her, to feel like I wasn’t alone. “Mina.”

  She lunged, and took my knees out from under me.

  Before she could get another blow in, I rolled out of the way, and the strength-and-light rose to the surface. It came roaring up from deep inside, and I let it.

  I always thought if I allowed that place inside me out, I’d lose control. I’d never be able to come back from it. But this was the second time it saved my tail. I might still be a slave to Grayson’s Tempter touch if it weren’t for the strength-and-light place. And I’d be kissing the mat right now too.

  As Mina punched my face, I wasn’t quick enough to dodge most of the blows, and blood dripped from my nose. As adrenaline rushed through my veins, it was easy to ignore the pain. She kicked towards my knees, but I blocked and thrust right back, with the strength-and-light place inside guiding my fists.

  Mina was taking it easy on me. That, I could tell. But she was still getting more hits, more contact than I was. But that didn’t matter. It wasn’t a competition. This was therapy.

  Breathless, but not able to resist my curiosity, I asked, “you live here and work for Division?”

  She nodded, then spun and elbowed me in the jaw.

  Before she could connect her fist with my right eye, I dipped down, spun around, and threw my leg out. Mina jumped over it, but I grabbed her ankle midair and pulled, knocking her off balance and to the mat.

  “How do they treat you?” I asked as she scrambled back to her feet.

  “Like part of the team.”

  I squinted, bobbed out of the way of three consecutive punches, and asked, “What does the team do?”

  Kicking a leg out, my booted foot connected with her sternum, but Mina grabbed my ankle and twisted, flipping me to the ground, knocking the air out of my lungs.

  Looking down at me, Mina replied, “I’m not at liberty to say.”

  Everything froze.

  The room disappeared, and the only thing I could see was Mina’s copper sunburst eyes. They flared, wide and narrow.

  Wide and narrow.

  I was falling. I couldn’t find the ground. Couldn’t hold onto a thought. Couldn’t think, feel, or sense anything anymore.

  Give me a memory, a voice suggested. It wasn’t a telepath. It sounded like my own voice, my own thoughts. It was nothing more than an idea. My own idea.

  My own ideas were harmless.

  I placed a hand on Rowan’s arm, felt the coarse hair and heat of him slide over my sensitive fingertips. Skin to sizzling skin. No more glamour. No more hiding. Rowan’s real skin on mine.

  The memory began to fray at the edges. There was a tugging at the core, and urging me to let it go.

  The demon inside me sensed what was going on, but all I knew was I wanted to keep this memory of Rowan, the first male to make me feel how he made me feel.

  No. My telepath was weak.

  I wouldn’t give it up. She couldn’t have it. No one could take it from me.

  Instinct whispered, get to your feet. So I did.

  Struggling to keep hold of my memory, I instinctually obeyed the suggestions inside my head. It said, left arm block. So I did.

  The memory reformed, as vivid and powerful as before.

  Instinct demanded, duck, then kick. So I did.

  “Get out of my head,” I told Mina at the same time I fully realized what had happened. Now I knew half-caste Razers did have breaching abilities. I wondered what else we could do.

  The next thing I knew, I was pinning Mina to the mat without a clue how we’d gotten into that position.

  Unaffected by her defeat, she said, “You’re a natural.”

  I wasn’t, but I wasn’t about to tell her that. It was Dmitri’s classes that taught me the movements to fight I’d never used before. Until now, it hadn’t clicked. Maybe my body hadn’t been what it needed to be befor
e to feel the way the movements should work. But now, I was what I should have been all along.

  I let the female up, and knew by the way she averted her eyes that we were done.

  “So you’re the new ‘realm Scion. How’s that feel?” Mina asked.

  “Pretty messed up.”

  She grinned, but didn’t laugh. “What are you going to do about it?”

  I shrugged, my muscles feeling stiff from the sparring session, but already healing. “Any suggestions?”

  “To rule can be a gift,” she said, and it spoke to the demon inside me that craved to reign. “But only if you deny that voice that is telling you to rule for yourself. For other’s sake, not for your own. Lead. Don’t rule.”

  I blinked after her as she turned and unceremoniously left the gym. Humbled by her wise words, I found Sam, who had been watching the whole time. He sat in a folding chair, turned around, with his arms propped up on the back and his head resting against them.

  “They want you to join us,” he said, his eyes looking sleepy.

  I’d figured as much, at least when they didn’t lock me in a cell the moment I got here.

  “You should get some rest,” putting a hand on his forehead. “You look exhausted.”

  Sam nodded, stood, and rubbed his eyes. I took the moment to look down at myself. Even though my nose had healed, there was a little blood spattered across my new shirt, and I frowned. At least it was hard to see on the black t-shirt.

  “I’ll show you to your room,” he said, and as we left the gym, I looked back and thought about the session I’d had with Mina. I wasn’t sure if it was the physical strain, or meeting someone like me. But I felt fantastic.

  The strength-and-light place hadn’t taken over. As soon as I no longer needed it, the alien place within retreated. I could feel it, crouching down, waiting to rise up again, but it hadn’t destroyed anything, hadn’t conquered the goodness in me.

  It was a part of who I was. And I wasn’t fighting it anymore. My two halves were finally working together.

  CHAPTER 25

  I couldn’t sleep. How could I, after the day I’d had? It was hard to believe I’d been at Faction yesterday. Most days of my life, I learned nothing, saw nothing, did nothing noteworthy.

  Lying in bed, I listed everything I’d experienced in the past twenty-four hours. I learned not to project. I’d jumped with a Hammer demon, I’d flown with Connell. I realized my feelings for Rowan, saw Grayson’s true motives and disregard for how I felt about it. The plane, Division, Sam, and Mina.

  It was eight o’clock in the morning when I decided trying to sleep was ridiculous. People might already be up, and my stomach was grumbling for food. Though some people here lived on a nocturnal schedule, what with Sam and Mina being awake and lively all through the night, but Sam had grown groggy when dawn broke.

  So maybe it wasn’t such a surprise that the house was quiet as I exited the Spartan bedroom that I felt very comfortable in which Sam had taken me to only a couple hours ago. As I wandered toward where I thought the kitchen might be, I wondered about the freedom I was being given.

  There weren’t cameras watching my every move. I didn’t have someone spying on me, making sure I wasn’t getting into trouble or stealing their secrets. The feeling of being trusted, even though they didn’t know if I could be gave me a sense of loyalty to them.

  I didn’t understand it.

  My good sense of direction didn’t fail me this morning, and as I found the dining room where Holly and the table filled with food had greeted me earlier, I only had to search the rooms close by to find the kitchen.

  I heard them before I saw them. Jake and Holly embraced in the shadows deep in the dark room, and didn’t notice me come in, so I let the swinging door close quietly, and stood frozen, watching them. I couldn’t help myself.

  “Come on, baby,” Jake said, his gruff, Southern voice a seductive whisper.

  Breathlessly, Holly said, “You know I can’t.”

  I watched, knowing it was wrong, but taken over by my own desires, and my memory of being held in a Hammer demon’s strong arms. Jake kissed up the side of Holly’s neck, and she purred. When he put his hands on her flushed cheeks and coaxed her lips to meet his, she pushed him away.

  Ungracefully maneuvering out of his arms, Holly stepped back. The act looked like it hurt her, indecision clear in sad, but resolute, hazel eyes.

  Jake puffed. “At least fly back home with me.”

  “This…we’re partners, all right? Division agents. I’ve got your back, you’ve got mine. Okay?” She was whining, and it sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than Jake.

  “That’s it?” he asked, his tone angry now. “That’s as far as it goes.”

  “Yes.”

  From my hiding place against the closed door, I saw Jake’s strong jaw work as he ground his teeth together. “Holly, I’m in love with you.”

  “You’re in love with my face, my breasts, my small waist and nice ass. You’re in love with blonde hair and big eyes and perfect skin.”

  Conceited much, Holly? Though, she had every reason to be.

  “That’s part of it, but not everything.”

  “So you say,” she spat.

  Jake puffed again. “We’ve been partners for over five years. Don’t you think I know you by now?”

  Holly’s tone changed then, her words powerful. “You are a human male.”

  And she walked out of the room, leaving Jake gawking with confusion in her wake. I watched him for minutes after she left. All he did was stand there, with a blank face. When he left the kitchen, he went out the same door Holly had, and I wondered if he was going after her.

  Drama. Flipping on the kitchen lights, I finally went all the way inside. My life had been pretty much without drama before all this started. Now, I had a Tempter and a Hammer and a Royal mother and a flood of feelings I’d never felt before.

  Maybe drama was part of life. Maybe without it, life was just a shell.

  I sat at the kitchen counter, eating slices of apple dipped in honey as the house awoke. Humans, glamoured demons, and a few half-castes filed in and filed out, families and males and females who looked like soldiers entered and exited the kitchen on a mission, grabbed fruit or cereal, toast and jam, or prepared eggs and pretty much ignored me.

  A human offered me a mug of coffee without a word, which I took. Whoever it was had sweetened it heavily, like I liked.

  There was such a sense of community here. I didn’t know what they did, what their purpose was in this place. But Division, for all its reputation of being an organization demons and half-castes Up Above should fear, was nothing more than a family. A safe haven. A home.

  Once it seemed like a million people and demons came and went, I was alone again in the kitchen, but not for long.

  A pert, skinny human wearing a grey business suit, glasses, and her hair pulled back into a tight bun came in, high heels clacking on linoleum.

  “Savannah Cole? Director Pakala will see you now.”

  She said it like I’d been sitting in a waiting room for a meeting all along. I got up, washed my mug in the sink, and left it to dry along with two dozen others from the morning’s parade, and followed.

  When we got to the office, she opened the door and motioned for me to go inside. A woman of few words.

  Behind a big, but simple desk littered with files and papers, Director Pakala stood as I entered. She was the kind of woman people paid attention to. With dark skin, naturally coiled hair she kept daringly short, and eyes that blazed with intelligence and authority, I was instantly impressed. My Razer half respected the woman immediately.

  “Ms. Cole. Please, have a seat.” Simple, formal words. Courteous, but with an underlying, self-assured influence that pressed into me.

  Mentally, I took notes. This was the kind of woman who should be Royalty, not me.

  “Director Pakala.” I reached out my hand to see if she’d take it. She did, without hesita
tion, and I sat.

  “Have you enjoyed your time here, Ms. Cole?”

  Containing my excitement for all the incredible things I’d gotten to do during the past day, I nodded once. “It has been informative.”

  “You look as though you have questions for me.”

  I blinked, then grinned. She was good. There were things she wanted me to know, but she was putting it on my shoulders first. Ally tactics.

  “How many half-castes do you have living here?”

  “At this time, twenty-three. Once, we had close to forty.”

  “But…why?”

  “To provide another option. Most of them have no family. We pull them from foster care, orphanages, from the streets.”

  I knew she wouldn’t tell me the full truth. I already had my suspicions. Half-castes were displaced, vulnerable, but stronger than any human. If our loyalty could be earned, we would make undefeatable soldiers. Maybe it wasn’t right, but it was strategically brilliant. The Razer in me appreciated that.

  “Sam, who I hear you’ve spent a good deal of time with, was born on a crack house floor. His mother made it through full-term by keeping herself high all the time. She died there, but Hammer demons are more resilient than most. And someone left him on the police station back steps.”

  I caged the pang of sorrow for Sam. He was safe, happy. He had a good life here.

  “Do you work with the police?” I asked instead of pushing her about her motives. Her reason, giving half-castes another option, could have been the truth too. Humans—demons too—could have more than one motive for their actions. “Do they send them to you?”

  “Sometimes. I have a few contacts, but don’t trust many people with these secrets.”

  “It would bring hope to a lot of half-castes who think their only option is Up Above or the ‘realm. Why not make the operation public? I know I would have—”

  “You have your father. You had more than most of these halflings.”

  Nodding thoughtfully, I knew the director was right. What I called my life before was crap. A huge disappointment. But I had more than many others like me would have. I wished something could be done for those who didn’t have what I’d had.