Defying Instinct (Demon Instinct Series) Page 10

  Oh great, something even stranger to look forward to. Why did Dmitri think I needed to know? And badly if I was accurately reading the waves coming off him. Maybe he thought I wanted every demon to know what I was.

  “Is that like when demons Mark humans?” Demonology books explained how demons sometimes choose “worthy” humans to honor with unconditional protection. Books didn’t explain how it was done, or how often it happened, but when it did, it was a huge deal.

  “No, it is not the same,” Dmitri explained.

  “How would I get Marked?” I didn’t want to be, if I could avoid it.

  “You have yet to accept it. Royalty, in essence, is a physical thing. If not for the Blooding, you’d be nothing but any other demon. But there is also another element, a type of cerebral contract that binds you on a more…sacred level. When you accept what you are, all of demonkind will know.”

  Okay. So potentially I could never accept it, and stay as anonymous as someone who resembled the Royal could. Good to know.

  “Thanks, Dmitri,” I said, then had to ask, “Anything else you think I should know?”

  Dmitri made a living as a teacher, same as my dad. All my life, I knew Dad would know the answers to my questions, or be able to show me where to find them. Guess it was ingrained in me to believe teachers knew it all.

  “Demons cannot be trusted. Their own goals are all they care for.”

  That was no newsflash. Most demons were kind of harsh on their own species. I wasn’t so quick to assume all demons were only out for themselves. There had been moments with Rowan, with Cyrus, even with Grayson that made me question the cold generalization.

  “And never make a deal with a demon.”

  I almost laughed. “Don’t talk to strangers, and never make a deal with a demon” was a common phrase among humans. I’d always thought that was a parent’s idle threat to keep their children in line. Apparently not.

  Nodding, and realizing the longer we stood and talked, the more Dmitri was going to have to rewind the class’s memories because of me, I nodded at Benn, then at the door.

  Before we turned to leave, the full-caste Razer said, “If you have use for me, Scion, I am at your disposal.”

  Holding out a small statue, no bigger than a chess pawn, Dmitri bowed low, his eyes to the ground until I took the figurine. “Please,” he rose, but kept his eyes down, “contact me with anything you wish.”

  CHAPTER 13

  “Camille was being a jerk,” Benn said for the third time as we walked the frosty streets, away from the community center. Guilt and embarrassment were emotions I was feeling a lot lately. Made me wonder if it was my default setting.

  “I was being mean,” I insisted. “I shouldn’t have said anything to her.”

  “Camille was way out of line. You ask me? She had it comin’. Looong overdue,” Benn assured me, and this time, it helped. Not because I suddenly didn’t think I’d crossed the line with Camille, but because Benn was trying so hard to convince me what I’d said to her was justified.

  Benn’s eyes darted away as he said, “still stupid of you to telepath to the whole class.”

  “Yeah,” my stomach churned with my guilt. “Sorry about that.”

  “You didn’t mean to. “

  Shaking my head, feeling ashamed, I kept walking, but not before giving a small wave to our completely conspicuous tail.

  “Looks like Rowan’s on sentry duty tonight.” I thrust my chin towards the blonde demon skulking in the shadows with his hands shoved deep into his jeans pockets. Tonight, his sweater was a delectable, chocolate brown.

  Again, for the millionth time with this male, I couldn’t understand the sensations deep inside me. I wanted to go to him, make him snap at me, entice him into one of those fleeting smirks I kept glimpsing. Above all, I wanted to get him indoors. Rowan looked miserable. So I picked up my pace. The sooner we got back home, the better.

  Benn raised his eyebrows, refusing to turn and look at the demon. “Which one’s Rowan again?”

  “Thought when you finally met some demons, you’d at least be able to keep ‘em straight,” I teased. “Blonde Hammer, champagne eyes.”

  His eyes narrowed, and I didn’t miss the look of distaste before he said, “Ah, the scowly one.”

  I frowned at how Benn blatantly didn’t like Rowan. Why should I care if my best friend liked the Hammer demon? But I did.

  “Interesting that you focus on his eyes,” he said, and I heard the underlying, childish taunt he was dying to say. The one about sitting in a tree. “Champagne?”

  Babbling, desperate to change the direction of our conversation, “Cy told me their eyes don’t completely glamour with the rest of them. Hammer demons, anyway. Not sure if it applies to them, it applies to all of them. But that’s what he said.”

  Benn shot me a look, one I wasn’t sure I read right for lack of experience with it.

  “What?” I asked, defensive.

  “You don’t…embellish.” I had to stop telling people how I classified Rowan’s eye color.

  My stare went to the ground. “That was…before.”

  During the decade we’d known each other, Benn and I never had anything similar to this kind of conversation. There’d never been males in my life. I’d never even noticed males in that way before. I had no idea how Benn would react.

  Seconds later, I knew, because Benn changed the subject completely. “How are you doing with all this?”

  I sighed loudly, and it startled us both. It was such a human sound, and I never used to make it before.

  “I’m not sure. I think I’m all right, really, at least with the new me stuff. It’s the mother stuff and the Scion stuff that’s freaking me out. I’ve been…putting it in the back of my mind.”

  “Just like you used to do.”

  I stopped, and stared at him. “How did you know—?”

  Benn’s sweet smile warmed me. “You think just ‘cause I didn’t know it was part demon you were fighting against, I didn’t notice you were always struggling?”

  “You never said anything.”

  He started walking again, so I followed. “Would you have told me?”

  Shoving my hands bashfully into my pockets, I watched Benn’s feet as our steps synced up. “I want to say I would have told you…but I don’t know. Dad…” No, that wasn’t an excuse. I was an adult. I could have told Benn if I wanted. I hadn’t. “I’m glad you know now.”

  That didn’t even begin to cover it. Benn elbowed toward my side, like he’d done a million times, only this time he made contact. It tickled. And it meant he understood.

  Half a block later, he asked, “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m considering locking myself in the store until it blows over.” The words came out more serious than I meant them too.

  Benn chuckled, but said, “I hope that’s a joke.”

  Looking at him, his kind, blue eyes amazing against mahogany skin looking so sweet, so concerned, I asked in all seriousness, “What would you do?”

  Benn said nothing, and I took that as my answer. He didn’t know what to do either.

  “I’ve been taking things one problem at a time.”

  “That’s not gonna work forever.”

  “I know.”

  We walked for a few minutes in silence. The only thing I could think about was how terrible I would be at being a real Scion. Right now, it was a label. I couldn’t co-rule the Underrealm. I’d never made a substantial decision in my life. I’d never had anyone else’s life dependent on me. How could I be expected to help oversee the entire demon race?

  The more embarrassing part was I didn’t even know what a Scion’s duties were. Noah, Nikolai’s son and Scion before Iliana took over last year had basically been Royal ever since I was born. Nikolai was only Royal in title, because he still lived. But he’d lost his marbles, they said, about a hundred years ago and never left the confines of his castle.

  Of course, that could have been a lie. On
ly demons would know the truth of it.

  I’d ask one of them later.

  When Benn and I turned the corner around my building, someone leaned against The Bookstore front door. I recognized her in an instant. Hard to mistake someone who looked like her.

  And Benn was dumbfounded for a second time.

  “Hello, half-caste,” the beautiful blonde said when we reached her, that predatory smile looking less predatory to my more acute eyes. Now, it looked more…persuasive.

  Smoke-and-fire flickered, but nothing like how I felt it before.

  “How did you know it was me?” I looked entirely different. Even though I kept forgetting it. I clutched Benn’s wrist so, even in his stunned state, he’d stay by my side.

  Holly shrugged, making full blonde locks rise and fall. “You’re a half-caste Razer, clearly by appearance. You look like your mother. You’re with this guy again.” She nodded to Benn, then purred as if she never billy clubbed his fragile head. “Hello, cutie.”

  “Plus,” a man said from behind us, “this is your store.”

  Oh. That was logical. Guess my suspicions that they knew more than they let on weren’t warranted. Though, I still got a weird sensation from Holly. I knew she was hiding something.

  Jake, the Southern man came around us and stood beside his partner. He was kind of short. In tight blue jeans, a brown leather jacket, and what looked like three days worth of stubble on his face, he looked very masculine. I doubted anyone would see him and even notice he wasn’t any taller than his partner, who was average height for a female.

  Although I knew I couldn’t without the humans hearing, I wanted to telepath to Rowan, make sure he knew I was fine. I could handle this. Holly and Jake weren’t trustworthy, and my body was tense, ready to do whatever if they tried something. But I could handle them. At least, I had to try. Any second, the Hammer demon was going to swoop down from the roof and tear human body parts from their sockets. It hadn’t even happened yet and I was already offended by the patronizing action.

  “Planning to ‘nap us again?” I asked the two Division agents before the moment Rowan was sure to stick his nose in.

  “You’re too protected now,” Holly said, pointing across the street.

  Rowan leaned against a streetlight, watching us but totally relaxed. His hands were still in his pockets like he didn’t have a care in the world.

  My lips curled up at the edges, and I forced them down. I didn’t trust these humans, but they couldn’t hurt Benn now. It made my words bolder.

  “Just here to annoy then?”

  Jake explained, “we’ve decided to change our tactics.”

  Then Holly picked up with, “and just…ask.”

  I smiled, wondering how long they’d been working together. As I studied them, they had the same, soldier expression, the same prepared for battle stance, the same arrogant and capable of backing it up demeanor.

  They looked good together. Holly was soft, bright, creamy, while Jake was broad, dark, handsome, with a roughness that juxtaposed her perfectly. These were things I never would have noticed before, and I was enjoying the analysis.

  “All right,” I said, letting confidence seep into my bones. “Ask.”

  “Our boss, Director Pakala wants you on our side. With the change in the Underrealm, and your…um…”

  “Situation,” Jake assisted.

  Holly didn’t look at her partner, but couldn’t hide the moment of warmth in her eyes. “She thinks you could be an ally, not an enemy.”

  I surveyed them, considering what they were saying. Nikolai and Noah kept ‘realm demon business as demon business, and let Division deal with demons Up Above. They could know a lot, way more than I knew. They had weaponry specifically designed as defense against demons. They weren’t bound by old-fashioned traditions like bowing to Royalty or anything else that was sure to perpetually make me uncomfortable.

  If they didn’t want me dead, Division could be a good asset, strategically speaking.

  “I’ll think about it,” grinning like a cat. “First, I think you owe someone an apology.”

  Jake gave me a sour look. “We’re sorry we—”

  “Geez, you’re dense. Not me.”

  Holly, needing no further explanation, turned her hazel eyes on Benn, and smiled. “I’m sorry for before, cutie. I was just following orders. But you understand, don’t you?”

  Benn stuttered an affirmative, and Holly leaned in. She looked at me, and I knew it was for permission. Even though it grated, I tightened my hold on Benn’s wrist but allowed her to touch him. She pecked his cheek, a little slower, and lingered a little longer than necessary. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake’s jaw twitch, but he didn’t move from his spot.

  As Holly retreated, my wicked, demon half was pleased with the outcome of this game. It was that little reaction from Jake the demon in me was looking for. Hoping for.

  Curiosity abated, even though it confused me.

  If I knew there was something more between Jake and Holly besides just partners, I could use it. The urge to do recon on my potential enemies felt familiar, even though my demon instinct was never manipulative before. The smoke-and-fire never carried the Razer tendency to gather knowledge and prepare for potential future battle strategies before.

  As I dealt with Holly and Jake, I wondered something. When was the last time the image of gore and annihilation danced through my head? The demon whispers held none of the vicious urges I’d grown accustomed to. Just tactics.

  Where did the desire for domination and destruction go?

  CHAPTER 14

  After Jake and Holly left, their business card with multiple ways of contacting them in my hand, I convinced Benn to go home and sleep off his stupor. With a scowl, Rowan followed him, so I knew he was as safe as he could be. I was starting to suspect there was no immediate danger. None of my sentries acted worried anymore.

  I was awed by the affect Holly had on my friend. Benn wasn’t that type of guy. If he wanted someone, he’d never had trouble getting her. With Holly, it was different. He was different.

  Suspicion pinballed around my head again.

  I showered and considered changing back into Rowan’s sage green not-cashmere sweater, even though I’d worn it for over twenty-four hours, yesterday evening, to bed, while shopping, to class. I decided to risk something else.

  The best option I had was a Rams jersey, because it was ginormous and hung down to my knees, the sleeves to my elbows, and was size XXL on my small frame. But it was scratchy as hell.

  The bell on the front door hadn’t chimed, but I heard male footsteps downstairs. Rowan had returned. I sucked it up and tried to ignore the niggling annoyance that went along with every movement, every single breath. I couldn’t, however, help but fidget.

  As expected, Rowan was waiting for me in The Bookstore, the front door closed and locked, just as I’d left it. Clearly, Rowan hadn’t used it. He jumped in. I wondered if there were any limitations on that ability, but by his typical, raised-hackles look, I tucked the question away for later.

  “Benn get home okay?”

  He grunted.

  Pursing my lips, I said, “I expected you to jump in and go all alpha male on me before.”

  “You had it under control,” his smoky voice soothing to my sensitive ears.

  I did have the situation under control. I’d handled Holly and Jake by myself, and that made pride swell in my chest. But that didn’t mean Rowan understanding that shocked me any less. And that didn’t mean I didn’t expect him to demand to know what they said either.

  “Cyrus is on guard tonight,” Rowan said without another word on the subject of Holly and Jake, surprising me once again. “He will return after his aide responsibilities to Grayson are completed.”

  Grumbling as I gingerly tried to sit on the couch, not caring that Rowan stood close by, towering over me. Watching how I struggled. When I couldn’t stand it, I stood back up and heaved an irritated groan.

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nbsp; “We should train.” It was peculiar, but I felt a wave of an apology roll off him.

  Feeling the weight of the day bearing down on my body, fraying my mind, and the skin on moving asphalt feeling my jersey was giving me, I sighed. “You know, after the shopping fiasco, Grayson coming on to me, class and Dmitri, Holly and Jake, and Benn acting all googily…and you, I’ve had a little too much people time today. Can’t we just—”

  “The sooner you learn, the sooner you can be rid of me.” The small, apologetic wave was gone. This was the Rowan I knew, inconvenienced and irritated.

  Geez, he acted like I was the one who hated him, when it was obviously the other way around. Consciously, I projected frustration and a kind of hassled surrender that I found hilarious.

  Hassled surrender was a good definition for what I felt from Rowan a lot of the time.

  “Besides,” he said, his usually snide tone lightening slightly. “High emotions and frazzled nerves are good. It’ll ignite your…considerable temper.”

  He smiled, and something tightened in my belly, making me rock back on my heels. I’d seen him fully smile once before…but wow. It changed his entire presence. Yet, as quickly as it came, it was gone, replaced with the Hammer demon’s favorite, grouchy expression.

  And the rocking movement made me once again aware of how uncomfortable I was in my clothes. I pulled at the material, trying to keep it off my skin, only to subject another part of my body to the rough fabric.

  I squirmed, and felt a shadow of the smoke-and-fire I used to know stir.

  “Oh, for crying out loud,” Rowan grumbled, then in one swift motion, pealed his chocolate sweater over his head and threw it at me, leaving him in that white t-shirt again.

  I opened my mouth to protest, but that was before the soft, incredible material fell into my hands. It was still warm from Rowan’s body heat and smelled like heaven.

  Without thinking, without considering propriety, I turned my back to the demon, climbed out of the scratchy, hell-fire inducing jersey, and climbed into the warm softness of Rowan’s delicious sweater.